The Dance....

Happy Thursday my friends.  A re-post worth reviewing...
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by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Back to The Wisdom Garden

I have sent you my invitation,
The note inscribed on the palm of my hand
By the fire of living.
Don't jump up and shout,
"Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!"
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.
Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
Spiralling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
To feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong
Without abandoning yourself when you are hurt
And afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
Truly okey with the way things are right now in this moment,
And again in the next,
And the next,
And the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
The place you cannot go beyond
By the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
To the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other
How we have set and kept
The clear, healthy boundaries that help us
Live side by side with each other,
Let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
Those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
The places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet
And the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
Without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us
Shout that soul's desires have too high a price,
Let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
The stories and the songs you want
The children's children to remember,
And I will show you how I struggle
Not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
Knowing both our absolute aloneness
And our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
Holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations
Of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind,
Dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
Of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
Not filling the emptiness from the outside but from within.

Don't say, "Yes!"
Just take my hand and dance with me.

Samalamadingdong...

Happy Monday!

 

There was a time when breakfast in bed meant the start of the week. 

Today I am reminded of those early years when my family was working its way back into a place of wholeness.  A time when we were learning to live, love and communicate through more than just our words.  Mondays always makes me think of Sami, it was her day. 

 

 

Though my little girl is no longer little anymore and has been out of the house for over a year, I still think about her when Mondays role around. 

 

 

To my Samalamadingdong, I am proud to call you mama and your number one fan.  Keep up the great work, you are making a difference in so many little peeps.

 

Love you to the sky and back.

Mom 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ME TOO...

Welcome, pull up, have a seat, grab your key board, phone or whatever device you use to communicate via virtual community.  Whoever thought that creating an on line Rumpus room could bring the kind of deep connecting and healing that would shift not only the way I see myself but the way I see others? 

 

 

What started out as a fun place to connect, tell stories and laugh out loud together has morphed into a place of healing and hope? Sometimes we ride the waves on boogie boards, laughing, kicking and screaming like children on the beaches of San Clemente, filled with sheer delight of playing together.

While other times we dive deep down into the sea of what use to feel and seem like darkness only to find out that what was so frightful years ago is now freeing.  Deep in the depths of each of our stories, when told together has given a wider lens to look back on the past with a view and perspective that I had not known existed.  

One of my favorite authors, Brene Brown states it well.  “Empathy’s the antidote to shame.  The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: "Me too.”

I believe the running theme I see throughout the posts in the Rumpus room is: "ME TOO!"  When you grow up in an environment where shame and guilt were spoon fed to you like medicine, one tends to grow up thinking “I am the only one who feel shame and guilt around my stories.”

The connection in the Rumpus Room with the family by birth and choice is burning away the chains of shame and guilt and a bath of empathy and understanding is being soaked up.  ME TOO!!!! Healing words that allow the soul to dance like it has never danced before.  I feel through the power of technology fingers reaching out through my screen touching my hands and holding my heart.  I am, we are not alone.  “ME TOO!”

 

I dedicate this blog post to my siblings, though we are far from perfect, though we have not always done the right things or said the right words, at the core of who we are is pure beauty.  Beauty that has risen out of the ashes, a promise from the creator of the universe. A beautiful tapestry of a messy, crazy childhood that has now taken a turn for the better.   A turn towards love, light and freedom to be just who we were all called to be.  David, Dennis, Patrick, Cristina, Eileen and Michelle, we are ENOUGH, just the way we are!

My gift to you, my on line community, a thank you for cheering me on, as I continue to pour out on the pages of this computer.  I offer to you, like water to a thirsty soul, this powerful poem written by my oldest brother David.  It will captivate your spirit the way a new born baby captivates an audience  through their eyes alone.

Please unwrap this gift with intention, drink in the words and hold it in your heart like you hold the hands of the ones you love the most. 

 

Thank you David for your sharing your gift with the world.

 

 

“ISLAND”

My soul was a crevice,

My heart was a boulder,

My faith was torn sheets in the wind

Such a world made of power,

To lower and tower,

From Evil and Sin.

 

How lost in the desert,

Without maps, without treasure,

And through Pain and False Pleasure,

I was

Simply and Island of Skin.

 

Yet with each passing hour

I grew closer

Not farther

To my God, My Creator,

Yes, My Love, My Beholder,

Forever my All,

My True Kin.

~David John Perez

 

 

 

 

 

To learn more about living in the moments of  "ME TOO", please  leave a comment.  I would love to introduce you to six of the most amazing men and women I have ever known.  As my sister Michelle states well, “we have won the sibling lottery.”

"What I Love" Plus 1

“Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.” 

~Rumi

1.      Laughing with Tony.

 

 

 

 

 

2.     Traveling with my tribe.

 

 

 

3.     Having all my family under one roof. (Or sky.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

4.     Watching the day begin.

 

 

 

 

 

5.     Playing with Cormac.

 

 

 

 

 

 

6.     Hanging with my friends of the alley.

 

 

 

 

 

 

7.     Painting on different canvases.

 

 

 

 

 

8.     One on one time with my tribe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9.     Visiting the Rumpus Room.

 

 

 

10.  Comfy clothing, long and flowing.

11.  Driving the Pink Ice Cream Cart.

 

True story.
 

Don't Quit

 

by Anonymous

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.


Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.


Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

 

 

 

 

Great Teachers...

 

 

 

 

 

  My brother is one of the greatest teachers I know.  He came to visit me over the holiday and I captured this picture of him on our annual Thanksgiving run that just happens to come right past our front porch.    What makes him such a great teacher is that he walks the talk.  He is not afraid of the struggle and he has risen out of the ashes only to rise above stronger and filled with more faith then I saw in him past. 

 

  Whenever I look at this picture of him my heart smiles and I feel happy and honored to be able to call him my brother.  He has been through so much over the last several years.  When most people would have thrown in the towel or became bitter he actually became better.

 

Never Give Up!

 

 

  He is a high school teacher and I know that the work he does is life changing.  I just told him when he was here last, that I can’t wait to hear all the stories of kids who made it through college and life choices in a successful manner because he took the time to listen, guide, teach and direct. 

 

The saying is true, great teachers inspire, inside and outside the classroom.  You my brother are an inspiration to everyone you come in contact with.  Keep the faith and know you are never alone.

 

Cris

Just F--- IT!

 

Learning to live in the moment with a chronic condition can be challenging and take every ounce of energy out of you.    Many people are not aware of the fact that I have not just one but two autoimmune conditions.  Why?  Because I choose not to talk about them.  I realized years ago that unless I am talking in regards to being proactively positive towards them it becomes more like a pity party.  However, I am aware that I have others around me who suffer with these same conditions.  Which is why I chose to become more public about how I approach them and how they do affect me and my family and friends.  Today I will share with you my first one which if you have been following my blog you already know that it is Fibromyalgia.

What is fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia is thought to be the result of overactive nerves. It is a condition that results in chronic widespread pain and tenderness all over. Here’s exactly what that means:

•             “Chronic” means that the pain lasts a long time—at least 3 months. Many people experience fibromyalgia pain for years before being diagnosed

•             “Widespread” means that it is all over the body. However, many people with fibromyalgia feel pain in the same places, such as the lower back and neck

•             “Tenderness” means that even a small amount of pressure can cause a lot of pain

 

Fibromyalgia is one of the most common chronic pain conditions. It affects more than 5 million people in the United States. That’s nearly 1 in every 60 Americans. Mostly women have it. But so can men. Most people begin feeling the symptoms of fibromyalgia when they are middle aged, but symptoms can start before then.

What are the symptoms of fibromyalgia?

Chronic widespread pain and tenderness are not the only fibromyalgia symptoms. Other symptoms may include:

 

•             Pain symptoms of fibromyalgia

•             Deep muscle pain and soreness

•             Morning stiffness

•             Flu-like aching

•             Radiating pain

•             Sensitivity to touch

•             Other symptoms of fibromyalgia

•             Problems sleeping

•             Fatigue

•             Difficulty thinking clearly, also known as "fibro fog"

•             Difficulty performing everyday tasks

•             Stress and anxiety

•             Depression

•             Migraine headaches

 

Please, if you are suffering with these symptoms, know there is help out there.  It is important to surround yourself with good care and a support system of people you can laugh, cry and just be with in a time of flare up and pain.

National Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association

http://www.fmcpaware.org/

   I understand how difficult it is to live in the moment when your moment is filled with pain.  Please use the resources I have placed above.  There are answers and help for this hideous condition.  Honestly, one of my favorite ways to get my mind off the pain is through laughter and writing.  Find what makes your mind go to another place and start to find freedom even in Fibroblablablabla!!!!!!

 

  I wrote the letter below in the middle of a flare up.  I am not trying to be offensive, but real.  Vulnerable to those who so desperately need to know they are not alone and see that even a silly letter to a syndrome with no cure to date can help take one’s mind off of the feeling of fatigue and pain.  Also, I once again dedicate this post to my amazing youngest sister Michelle who shares this same unwanted house guest.  She helps me see the light in the darkness and boy can she make me laugh.  I love you little sis, here is to the newest F word, the longest four letter word I know.

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Just F---- IT!

Dear Mr. Fibro,
    You do not even know me!  If you did, you would know to call before you came over during this time of year or any time of year.  But, no!  And when you arrive, you do not even have the decency to gently use your knuckles to knock on the door.  Nope, not you.  You Mr. Fibro barge in like a bandit hiding out from your last victim. 

  If you knew me you would ask “is this a good time to come over.”  And I would answer “Of course NOT!”  It is never a good time to have you come over for a “visit” You Mr. Fibro are like the storm on the Wizard of Oz except there is no place to hide.
 
  I am no fool Mr. Fibro, we are not friends.  You are more like an unwanted houseguest who arrives with bags on both sides ready to settle in without an exit plan or even permission to stay.  

  I have learned from you Mr. Fibro that fighting you only makes matters worse.  So, I allow you into my space instead of putting up a fight.  Fighting you only causes frustration and pain, it is these two gifts you keep giving me even when I do not want them.  I have tried to return but it is no use.

  So here is the deal.  You do not get the best room in the house or the center of my attention.  Rather a back room will be your place of residency until you deem it time to disappear.  And even though I know you will fight for the center of my attention, you need to know up front, you will be more like a pot on the back burner of the stove. Also, let me make one thing clear, you were not nor are you invited or welcomed into my space, okay maybe that is two things, no big deal, my letter, and my rules.

  Furthermore, this I know to be true.  For me to be good to me, I need to be good to you.  I will be kind and gentle and even turn the other cheek but not without first bringing up my hand as a reminder of who is in charge and it aint you!

  Mr. Fibro, I will look you squarely in the eyes and remind you that you are a visitor in my home, regardless of the lack of invitation and how you arrived.  My house, my rules, my life, my style.  You do not get to call the shots.  Though you hurt me you do not lead me like a harness around a horse’s neck.  I am free even when you decide to come for a visit.
 
  The heater will be a blazing, movement will happen and you may not be comfortable because making you feel good is not my job. I will take care of myself first so I can take care of others, and you are not on that list of others.  You are not a friend, what would I call you?

  Maybe after all these years I would call you teacher, of course not one I was looking for.  You just arrived one day without warning and started taking over my body and sometimes my brain.  You
taught me patients, perseverance and believe it or not peace. Peace in the middle of my pain. You taught me to fold into my faith a faith that promises that all things will work out for the good.

 

I have learned through you that love is not about just touching someone's hands but also their heart.  A word, an action, a look that says “I love you just the way you are.” 

  See Mr. Fibro, not everyone you try to take out will allow you to win. There is a group of us out here in the world with hearts bigger than your business. We band together, we remind one another of what matters most. We hold space to laugh, giggle, cry and just be. Those actions diminish your powers, the powers you use to try to make us small and unworthy.  We are enough just the way we are.

  We are the brave, bold, beautiful warriors who use words to lift each other up instead of tear one another down, which appears to be part of your plan. We are warriors who are not willing to give up or give into just because we hurt. We choose love the opposite of your plan even in our pain.

  So, take that Mr. Fibro, you truly are what my definition of an F word would be, something offensive and abusive. You are foul and we are free, maybe not always from the outside in but from the inside out and you cannot take that away. 

  Today I am thankful for my Fibro family and those who get this invisible condition, remember if you are reading this you are not alone.  Mr. Fibro you do not own us!  Just F---- It!  We are free….

 

Cris

 

National Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association

http://www.fmcpaware.org/