Just F--- IT!

 

Learning to live in the moment with a chronic condition can be challenging and take every ounce of energy out of you.    Many people are not aware of the fact that I have not just one but two autoimmune conditions.  Why?  Because I choose not to talk about them.  I realized years ago that unless I am talking in regards to being proactively positive towards them it becomes more like a pity party.  However, I am aware that I have others around me who suffer with these same conditions.  Which is why I chose to become more public about how I approach them and how they do affect me and my family and friends.  Today I will share with you my first one which if you have been following my blog you already know that it is Fibromyalgia.

What is fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia is thought to be the result of overactive nerves. It is a condition that results in chronic widespread pain and tenderness all over. Here’s exactly what that means:

•             “Chronic” means that the pain lasts a long time—at least 3 months. Many people experience fibromyalgia pain for years before being diagnosed

•             “Widespread” means that it is all over the body. However, many people with fibromyalgia feel pain in the same places, such as the lower back and neck

•             “Tenderness” means that even a small amount of pressure can cause a lot of pain

 

Fibromyalgia is one of the most common chronic pain conditions. It affects more than 5 million people in the United States. That’s nearly 1 in every 60 Americans. Mostly women have it. But so can men. Most people begin feeling the symptoms of fibromyalgia when they are middle aged, but symptoms can start before then.

What are the symptoms of fibromyalgia?

Chronic widespread pain and tenderness are not the only fibromyalgia symptoms. Other symptoms may include:

 

•             Pain symptoms of fibromyalgia

•             Deep muscle pain and soreness

•             Morning stiffness

•             Flu-like aching

•             Radiating pain

•             Sensitivity to touch

•             Other symptoms of fibromyalgia

•             Problems sleeping

•             Fatigue

•             Difficulty thinking clearly, also known as "fibro fog"

•             Difficulty performing everyday tasks

•             Stress and anxiety

•             Depression

•             Migraine headaches

 

Please, if you are suffering with these symptoms, know there is help out there.  It is important to surround yourself with good care and a support system of people you can laugh, cry and just be with in a time of flare up and pain.

National Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association

http://www.fmcpaware.org/

   I understand how difficult it is to live in the moment when your moment is filled with pain.  Please use the resources I have placed above.  There are answers and help for this hideous condition.  Honestly, one of my favorite ways to get my mind off the pain is through laughter and writing.  Find what makes your mind go to another place and start to find freedom even in Fibroblablablabla!!!!!!

 

  I wrote the letter below in the middle of a flare up.  I am not trying to be offensive, but real.  Vulnerable to those who so desperately need to know they are not alone and see that even a silly letter to a syndrome with no cure to date can help take one’s mind off of the feeling of fatigue and pain.  Also, I once again dedicate this post to my amazing youngest sister Michelle who shares this same unwanted house guest.  She helps me see the light in the darkness and boy can she make me laugh.  I love you little sis, here is to the newest F word, the longest four letter word I know.

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Just F---- IT!

Dear Mr. Fibro,
    You do not even know me!  If you did, you would know to call before you came over during this time of year or any time of year.  But, no!  And when you arrive, you do not even have the decency to gently use your knuckles to knock on the door.  Nope, not you.  You Mr. Fibro barge in like a bandit hiding out from your last victim. 

  If you knew me you would ask “is this a good time to come over.”  And I would answer “Of course NOT!”  It is never a good time to have you come over for a “visit” You Mr. Fibro are like the storm on the Wizard of Oz except there is no place to hide.
 
  I am no fool Mr. Fibro, we are not friends.  You are more like an unwanted houseguest who arrives with bags on both sides ready to settle in without an exit plan or even permission to stay.  

  I have learned from you Mr. Fibro that fighting you only makes matters worse.  So, I allow you into my space instead of putting up a fight.  Fighting you only causes frustration and pain, it is these two gifts you keep giving me even when I do not want them.  I have tried to return but it is no use.

  So here is the deal.  You do not get the best room in the house or the center of my attention.  Rather a back room will be your place of residency until you deem it time to disappear.  And even though I know you will fight for the center of my attention, you need to know up front, you will be more like a pot on the back burner of the stove. Also, let me make one thing clear, you were not nor are you invited or welcomed into my space, okay maybe that is two things, no big deal, my letter, and my rules.

  Furthermore, this I know to be true.  For me to be good to me, I need to be good to you.  I will be kind and gentle and even turn the other cheek but not without first bringing up my hand as a reminder of who is in charge and it aint you!

  Mr. Fibro, I will look you squarely in the eyes and remind you that you are a visitor in my home, regardless of the lack of invitation and how you arrived.  My house, my rules, my life, my style.  You do not get to call the shots.  Though you hurt me you do not lead me like a harness around a horse’s neck.  I am free even when you decide to come for a visit.
 
  The heater will be a blazing, movement will happen and you may not be comfortable because making you feel good is not my job. I will take care of myself first so I can take care of others, and you are not on that list of others.  You are not a friend, what would I call you?

  Maybe after all these years I would call you teacher, of course not one I was looking for.  You just arrived one day without warning and started taking over my body and sometimes my brain.  You
taught me patients, perseverance and believe it or not peace. Peace in the middle of my pain. You taught me to fold into my faith a faith that promises that all things will work out for the good.

 

I have learned through you that love is not about just touching someone's hands but also their heart.  A word, an action, a look that says “I love you just the way you are.” 

  See Mr. Fibro, not everyone you try to take out will allow you to win. There is a group of us out here in the world with hearts bigger than your business. We band together, we remind one another of what matters most. We hold space to laugh, giggle, cry and just be. Those actions diminish your powers, the powers you use to try to make us small and unworthy.  We are enough just the way we are.

  We are the brave, bold, beautiful warriors who use words to lift each other up instead of tear one another down, which appears to be part of your plan. We are warriors who are not willing to give up or give into just because we hurt. We choose love the opposite of your plan even in our pain.

  So, take that Mr. Fibro, you truly are what my definition of an F word would be, something offensive and abusive. You are foul and we are free, maybe not always from the outside in but from the inside out and you cannot take that away. 

  Today I am thankful for my Fibro family and those who get this invisible condition, remember if you are reading this you are not alone.  Mr. Fibro you do not own us!  Just F---- It!  We are free….

 

Cris

 

National Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association

http://www.fmcpaware.org/