Thank you all for your prayers through this process, the power of the Pez and the decision to be fully naked while still wearing clothes has produced this beautiful book. I had the honor and privilege of being part of the process of the book as well as allowing my story to be told. Loving this race! Tears of healing continue to flow from deep inside as I see my story in black and white. Thank you sister Pez!!!! Yes, trains, planes and automobiles!!!!!! I will never forget our first visit under the fig tree, who would have known.
As I reflect back on the last six years a few things come to mind. First, I am so grateful for the struggle, I am grateful for those who did not try to rescue me, fix me or prevent me from feeling the fear that came with a changed life. Second, if I could have seen into the future back then, I would have probably passed on this whole recovery thing.
Back in my early days of being set free I was searching for pure comfort anything that could feel a tad familiar, something that would make me feel safe. I then came to a point where I understood that true growth, true repentance and the Promise Land only came with change, ouch!
With both feet forward and an eye on those ahead of me, I said yes. With fear and trepidation I followed my faith more then my feelings. With my trust in the great I Am I said yes to the call of allowing myself to be poured out as an offering.
Yesterday with book in hand, I sat on my front porch crying over my story as I saw it come to life through the pages of the book. I could not stop crying, my heart was overwhelmed to see it there in front of me.
What a gift this book will be to those searching to find freedom from their Egypt, experience from their Wilderness and Purpose in their Promise Land. Once again, I have to say thank you to my dear friend Deanna for running her race well, for inviting others along into the journey and for never turning back.
I can't wait for the next leg of the race.
Cris Nole
"Pastor Pez"
3 comments:
Good Morning Cristina,
This is incredible. Thank you for sharing your journey with me. You are an inspiration to me and one that encourages me to run the race that God has set before me. I would like to get a copy of this book. I want to read your story. I am so grateful that you continue to share your story with me. Even when I ran away and judged and feared. You kept loving and accepting and forgiving me. I am so very thankful that our lives crossed 6 years ago. It is truly amazing that God had our lives cross right when your true freedom started. I still remember the first time I met you in C.R. my heart wept for you because of where you were at, I so wanted to help you and I did not really now how but to pray. and say"hi" to you whenever I saw you. I remember times when you were running of too work and couldn't really talk but I saw you and said "Hi". I don't know if you remember but I do.
For so many years I hid. I hid behind the spiritual, the busyness, the running, the fear of being known for who I really am, my children, my family, denial and control. This list goes on. I want to thank you for always calling me to the higher calling. For believing in me and also for not rescuing me or preventing me from feeling the pain. For loving me these past 6 years. Thank you for your prayers. Like you I am now saying yes, to the calling on my life. I must not believe the lies I have been told and tell myself. I must believe what God says about me. My eyes are wide open once again. You see, my downfall is I was always wanting a quick fix, what felt good I wanted. I have learned and am still learning that quick fixes don't produce fruit.I have now seen the fruit that it produces and it is not pretty.I don't want that kind of fruit anymore Fighting and doing the hard work that it takes to choose not to give in to my fleshly desires and the easy way out produces good fruit. When I fall, it is saying I am getting back up and not quitting I am running the race set before me. Though a righteous man fall seven times he will rise again. . I want to be truthful, honest, transparent and naked with my clothes on. I have learned and am still learning whose I am and not what I am. I am choosing to believe the truth of what God's word says about me and not what I or others might say or think. I am learning to recoginize, take responsability for and repent of my choices in life. I am learning not to own what is not mine. I am learning how to receive love and how to love.
I have tears in my eyes as I sit here and remember and write about our journey together. Tears of joy and healing because our God is so very good and He loves us so very much. I am finally believing how much he loves us.
Talk with you soon. As you always say I love you to the sky and back. I love you and thank you with all my heart.
Patty
So proud of you sweet sister!! I'll never forget the day we met and now, to see where God has brought you. I love my sweet turtle who happens to be a woman who runs after Jesus!!
What an amazing experience!
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