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| Teeth |
Sometimes I
just feel the urge to kick people in the teeth when they ask stupid
questions, can you relate? When they are coming at me
from a jovial superficial place in the same moment that I am in a deep and
contemplating place of working toward inner healing.
My reaction can come from a place of anxiety
and depression, and thank God I have a good support system to help me walk
through these feeling or guilt would be leading me by the nose.
A good friend shared with me that
she feels like she could throw up on people’s shoes in certain moments when
stupid things are said. Of course, she
does not and would not say that to a person. Yet, we do have these feelings and
emotions that rise up inside us. We do
not call them out, they just appear. We
are not guilty of doing anything wrong, well of course unless I kicked the
teeth or she intentionally vomited to make a point.
However, don’t "good Christian
girls" have better reactions. On
the other hand, is our lens dirty and are our ears muffled with the sounds of a
faulty belief system? Thoughts to think
about and ponder.
Maybe it is time as my friend put
it, to stop looking at everything through the lens of Christianity. Wow, that sounds almost sinful, yet freeing.
The lens of Christianity as it exists in our modern world is without question a
dirty lens.
The lens of Jesus should be more
like it. Jesus would approve and
appreciate our honesty in not hiding from ourselves who we are and in
recognizing how we feel in a given moment, whatever that truth is.
I just love the fact that I can
have this kind of conversation with my friend and sister in Christ. We share a similar path from our past to our
present. We are able to talk openly and
honestly about our struggles as well as our victories without judgment.
I promise you do not have to be
afraid of me kicking you in the teeth or her vomiting on your shoes, well of course
unless you are around her when she has the flu, but I am sure she would find
her way to the john before letting your shoes become her barf bag.
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| Barf Bag |
Just know though that there are
those of us out in the world who are working on healing and wholeness. We wish we had better internal reactions to
the seemingly normal things of life that come our way, but that just may not be
possible now. We are healing as we give ourselves permission to feel what we
feel without judgment, as we learn who we are and why.
Be kind and gentle when you see
what appears to be a blank stare in our eyes.
I assure you it is anything but blank.
We are thinking, processing and making sure our lens is more clean and
clear so we can respond in an appropriate way.
And, if I do respond
inappropriately, I ask for forgiveness now, as I know I am a work in
progress. One day at a time, moment by
moment I am figuring out that taking every thought captive means way more than
what I have been taught.
Thank You For Letting Us Share.
Cristina and JT
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