I will love you in my silence!

Greetings from The Front Porch!

The conversation over the phone ended with me simply saying, “I will love you in my silence.” My heart broke for my sweet precious friend on the other end of the line, for her pain and her struggle were not new to her or to me.

 

A conversation many years ago came floating to my mind as I hung up the phone with one friend I remembered what this older friend had said to me.

 

I was all of twenty at the time with no filtering system for my mouth. I listened but did not learn, to young and ignorant to understand the warning. She said “salt your words carefully; you just might have to eat them one day.”

 

Of course, that one day has come many times over in the last several decades and I have come to love and appreciate the words of wisdom that had been imparted on me so many years ago.

 

This morning I found myself chewing on my own words once again, as I heard the conversation in my head from the day before. I had encouraged my sweet friend to take care of herself first so she could be there for others.  Everything in me in that moment wanted to put my life on hold to rescue her and save her from her struggle.  Salty words, such a reminder of taking my own advice.

 

Her fear of others feeling like she was going to reject them kept her in a place of spiritual dehydration and her soul was becoming malnourished. She was giving into manipulation and deception.

 

I recognize these signs because I lived most of my life caring more for others then myself. I believed that true spirituality came from giving to others without any regards to my own personal needs.

 

This false belief system kept me from experiencing true healing and wholeness that the cross of Christ offers to us when we fully surrender to HIS plan and purpose for our lives.

 

How can I surrender my life over to HIM if I am to busy and too concerned about others and their needs? How will I learn to hear his still quiet voice if I do not take the time to be still?

 

The truth was I cared more about what others thought about me then of what I thought about myself. I cared more about feeling needed and looking useful in the eyes of others rather then in the eyes of HE who created me.

 

I found value in being there for others when they could not be there for themselves. I would come in and become their personal saviors doing for them what they should have been doing for themselves. I would rob them of the very thing God created them to be and that was to live fully in their pain and victories.

 

As someone who has a background of addiction, deception and rejection it is hard for me to step away from unhealthy behavior of someone else. I feel like I am making a judgment call against them and their struggle rather then acting in the best interest of my own spiritual well being.

 

When in fact, putting all feelings aside, the reason I must step away from certain unhealthy patterns in others is that the spirit of pride has away of creeping in and rearing its ugly head.

 

The spirit of pride prowls around and stocks me, watching every move I make wondering if this might be the moment, I think I have all the answers, will this be the moment that “she slips back into old behavior of rescuing and saving?”

 

It is a very dangerous place for me to be thinking that I could be someone else’s savior. Oh, I would never say that to their face but I would think in my heart and act it out in my conversations and directions. I would dress up my words to make them sound spiritual and not even realize I had done it until it was too late.

 

I learned years ago that if I could see my own spirituality it was not really spirituality at all but rather pride just dressed to impress and that I needed to make changes. That I needed to step away from the behavior and back into the truth.

 

Below are just a few quotes I found to help be remember what I believe to be true about the spirit of pride and the danger of allowing it to live actively in my life. I read, repeat, listen, and learn to others who have gone before me.

 

• Pride and grace never dwell in one place.
• Pride blossoms, but bears no fruit.  
• Pride brings loss, humility brings increase.
• Pride feels no pain.
• Pride goes before a fall.

Prayer and silence seem so passives yet they are the greatest gift we can give to one another when it comes to spiritual warfare. Today I choose to love through my silence and use prayer as my protection.

Because I love you, I will not do for you what I know you can do for yourself. I will point you back to the

only one who can free you from the insanity of our sinful nature. I hope you will do the same for me.
 

 

Cris

The Challenge with Change!

Greetings from The Front Porch!

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.



Anatole France


As I walk away from one season and enter into another, my heart is heavy for what I do leave behind but my mind is racing a hundred miles an hour at the thought of what is to come.


Change use to scare me like a dark room and an open closet door does to a small child. The fear of the unknown often left me frozen in my tracks and I would find myself never moving forward or letting go of my past.


Years ago, my life depended on change and it was in that change that I realized that for me to live fully alive I would have to embrace my greatest fear and jump into it feet first.


I had to put my feelings aside, not denying how I felt but inside honoring my emotions while moving forward in the change. What a surprise to find out the very thing I feared was the very thing I needed to grow. The very thing I feared was the very thing that brought me to fully live.


Through embracing change, I have learned to laugh and cry, to be still and to move, to listen and ask all at the same time. I realized in the season of change comes a beautiful confidence that is birthed out of the fact that my FAITH is grater then my fear.


My FAITH tells me that there is a hope for my future and for me to walk in that hope I must be willing to move forward in the change.


So, as I say goodbye to what was and hello to what will be, I thank God for this very moment that I am able to embrace the unknown as I trust in HIM fully with what use to be my greatest fear.


1. Do you fear change?


2. Do you fear the unknown?


3. What would it take you to embrace the change you need to be fully alive and fully aware of what God wants to do in and through you?



God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?
Numbers 23:19


Cris

Freedom and The Fourth of July!

                                                 

                                               Greetings from The Front Porch!


Happy almost Fourth of July! We are just days away from our annual Front Porch Fireworks display, brought to you by the community of Antelope and those who love to linger on The Front Porch.

This year we decided to pool our money together to buy the mother box of all boxes, the box is filled with every legal firework conceivable. The kids are going crazy with anticipation as goal of the pool grows.
This year we allowed our teens to do the planning, what better way to teach them about building community then by letting them jump in and create the day. Of course, I have helped facilitate some calls and preparation but through it all, they have done most of the work.

This is what freedom looks like for me. As a recovering control freak, I enter into this holiday with an attitude of gratitude taking my freedom seriously. Thanking God for those who fought so hard and who continue to fight hard so that we can live in a country where I get to exercise the greatest freedom of all, my free will.

As I let go of my teens and allow them to experience the beautiful connections that happen in community when we are intentional in our freedom, I am taken back to a time just short of a decade ago. A time when I was bound by fear and anxiety and when the invisible chains of my past kept me from truly embracing the very moments that had been gifted to me. The thought of enfolding into my community would not have even been options back in the day.

Today as we prepare to celebrate the birth of our nation, I will also choose to celebrate the fact that I use to be but now I am not. The chains are gone, I've been set free, my God my Savior has ransomed me!
I would love to hear how you celebrate this coming holiday, please feel free to leave a comment below.

Cris

Time to Walk and Talk!

                                                          

                                                             

                                                              This Sat. July 2 @ 7:00AM

OK, the peeps have spoken, Community Walk this Sat. starting from the Front Porch at 7AM! I will see if The Midnight Smoker is available. We will walk about three miles with a stop half way through for a rest, stretch and a little snack. Please send me a message if you need directions.



Our last walk was a great big success with many showing up early on The Front Porch to hit the road. Looking forward to seeing some familiar faces as well as some new ones.


Cris

P.S.  Good news, The Midnight Smoker is avaliable!

Hello Summer!

Greetings from The Front Porch!

Happy summer, it is finally here. Just a few weeks ago, my daughter told me she thought summer vacation should not start until it stops raining. I had to agree with her, as they ended their school year with thunderstorms and rains coats, you would have thought they were entering into winter break instead of summer vacation.

Now we are into our 28th day, it reached 100 degrees, and we could not be happier. OK, maybe I might be the happiest. However, hot weather equals slip and slides, water parks and late evenings on The Front Porch.

I have been challenged by a good friend to put my agenda aside and to live out my motto, embracing my moments with my children and asking myself “what if” and filling in the blanks. What if I decided to leave the dishes to be done the laundry to be folded and the rooms to be cleaned for another time and joined my children for a day of fun?

Today I lived in the moment while I wrapped myself around the what if and I left my to do list on the counter and jumped in feet first with my kids as we sat in the air conditioned theater melting into a sci-fi movie, something I never do.

As I watched my teens sit on the seat of their pants, wide eyed and enthralled by the story on the screen, I realized how much I miss out when I put my agenda before my relationship with them.

I recently read in a devotional book that God calls us to be still so that we could receive His blessings. As I read that I thought “no, I can’t do that”, being still so God could bless me is opposite of what I have learned to do.

Yet, as I sat still today, the blessings I received from my time with my kids are something I will hold on to for the rest of my life. I am learning that when I enter into these moments with my teenagers for no other reason then to enter into these moments, I get glimpses of the adults they are becoming.

Tomorrow is day twenty-nine and it is taking everything in me not to write out a long list of things I need to do. I will hold tight to today and remember what it looked like when I put my list to the side and allowed myself to not just promote a motto of the moment but also live in it myself.

Thank you my friends, you know who you are, for challenging me to step away from my own structure and box and step into the summer with my kids.


Cristina

Happy Father's Day

Greetings From The Front











A day to remember and a day to be thankful. As I sit and listen to my children prepare breakfast for my husband my own mind wonders back in time.

Early morning greetings to my gruff father who showed little emotion,that fact still never stopped all six of his children from pouring on the love and celebrating this day.

We had a tradition of baking cakes for all occasions not just birthdays, so there was nothing more enjoyable then gathering around a Father's day cake and singing to the most important man in our life.

It has been thirteen years since my father passed away and not a day goes by when I wish I could bake him just one more cake. As gruff as he was he always let us know that we were his priority and that being a husband and a father made him rich.

As the smell from the kitchen tickles my nose I am brought back to the moment. I hear my son making his own traditions in the kitchen. He is preparing breakfast to honor his hero, his father.

I watch how my children have grown to love and respect the most important man in their life and it makes me want to bake a cake and sing.

Cristina

Goal Setting

Greetings From The Front Porch!

Creating S.M.A.R.T. Goals

• Specific

• Measurable

• Attainable

• Realistic

Specific

A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six "W" questions:

*Who: Who is involved?

*What: What do I want to accomplish?

*Where: Identify a location.

*When: Establish a time frame.

*Which: Identify requirements and constraints.

*Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.



EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, "Get in shape." But a specific goal would say, "Join a health club and workout 3 days a week."

Measurable

Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.

To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as......How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished?


Attainable

When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.

You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

Realistic

To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress. A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labor of love.

Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.


Timely

A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it there's no sense of urgency. If you want to lose 10 lbs, when do you want to lose it by? "Someday" won't work. But if you anchor it within a timeframe, "by May 1st", then you've set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal.

T can also stand for Tangible - A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing. When your goal is tangible you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.


Thank You
SMART Goals

Cristina