Sometimes the holidays make me sad.  I do my best to find all the things in my life to be thankful for.  One being this man in the picture.  The one I call my husband, best friend, lover, companion, the list could go on.  Still, sadness takes over and I start thinking about all the holidays of yesterday.  I miss my mom and dad and five brothers and sisters. 


I miss the noise, the smells, and the chaos in our normal.  We were a far from perfect kind of family but we were family.  Today has been a rather difficult day as I sat around and pondered all the times we had Thanksgiving filled with more than just our own.  We gathered around the old restaurant tables and eventually the oversized pic nic table that made a meal seem like a feast.  After filling our plates with food and our tummies with all we could eat, the cards would come out and for hour we would play games with our friend and family around that table 


David, Dennis, Patrick, Eileen and Michelle, I miss you all like crazy as I reflect back on those days where the house was filled with smells of holiday foods and sounds of laughter that filled every square inch of our childhood home.  I miss mom and dad and what the Perez holidays meant, La Familia.  Though I am thankful for the life I have created and been blessed with.  Today I must be honest with myself and admit sometime the holidays make me sad.

"Living In The Moment"

I think one of the most amazing things about being a human is the ability to feel gratitude and sadness at the same time.  And though I am feeling sad and missing my siblings, here is a list of ten items I am grateful for in this moment. 

1.  A strong marriage to a man who loves me just as I am.

2.  My three children who are a joy to be around.

3.  My grandson, the light of my life.

4.  My in-laws, I could not have asked for a better set

5.  My brothers' and sisters'

6. My faith that has helped carry me through all the changes over the last several years.

7. My tribe, you know who you are, hug yourself for me and remember, you are brave, bold and beautiful.

8.  The love for writing.

9.  My Kovar’s family.

10. My spiritual Mama, God knew what he was doing when he placed P.C. in my life.


Even though holidays can make me sad, making that list just brought joy to my heart.  I challenge you my readers if you’re struggling this holiday, as hard as it might be, find ten things, or even five things to be thankful for, it will help your heart and your head come to a place of peace.  Have a beautiful day.
And never forget, "as one thinks one become."


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