Why? You ask. The mounds of mess in the middle of those
piles are answered prayers. I figured before I found my way through the mess I
would look for what I have been searching for.
Just today, I dusted off a corner of the clutter and
suddenly appeared courage with a big C. Courage to live in the moment, fold
into my feelings and forget about what the world around me thinks. In the
middle of the mess is the more I had been looking for all of my life. More
meaning, purpose and direction, not to mention peace and possibly even patients
to wait in the mess.
Funny, one day I felt the creator whisper to my soul “stop
being so quick to clean up." It was an odd encouragement. Stop, look,
listen, go through, mingle among the mess was the message I was getting.
With a deep breath and deep faith, I put a halt to my need
to clean. I stopped looking at my mess as a mistake and instead received it as
a miracle to be unearthed.
Standing before my mess made me uncomfortable. I felt less
then, not good enough, irresponsible and lacking any credibility as a
responsible adult. I mean, what would
King Lempel’s mother think if she saw me standing before my mound of chaos?
Yet, the more I relaxed into my mess the more the Divine
started to refine my way of thinking about who I am and whose I am. It was in
those moments that I became comfortable with the mess before me.
Here is the truth. Life is messy. In addition, my mess is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith or lack of involvement but
rather a sign of a life being lived.
The religious rule followers are uncomfortable with my mess.
How do I know this? I use to be one of them; I can scout them out a mile away.
I based my value in how less a mess I had. I believed it made me a
"better" believer, if there is even such a thing.
In reality, it caused me to take my eyes off the eyes of the
one who breathed life into my very existence. It caused me to care more about
cleaning up then sitting still. I had years of being told God is a God of order, cleanliness
is next to Godliness all of those padded answers that people with good
intentions spouted out and I believed.
Do not get me wrong, I do believe that God is about order
but first there is a mess. Look at
anything worth creating and you will see creating is messy; order is a
by-product of the creation.
One day I came to the realization that true life, the get
down and dirty kind of walking in the foot steps of Jesus living is messy,
sometimes two or three showers a day kind of messy. I came to understand that my faith was not
calling me to clean up but get up. My faith was not calling me to look good but rather look for, look at and look up.
.
Today I have the privilege of traveling this journey with
many amazing messy followers who are constantly asking, “Is there more,” and I
gently remind them as I remind myself yes, the more is in the middle of the
mess. More meaning, more purpose, more
beauty, look into the middle of your mess with a magnifying glass and you will
see that the more you have been looking for has been there all along.
Thank you for letting me share.
Cris
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