Amyazing Grace...


Do you know what amazes me most about God?  The way God created my brain that is what makes my mouth drop open in awe and wonder.  Did you know that our brains are resilient? They have the ability to be rewired. 

There is a saying that where the brain fires it wires.  If the brain is firing negative feedback it will wire negative feedback and the body is known for following the brain, it can be a vicious cycle.  And it had been that way for me for years.  Thus came the inner voice of doubt, discouragement and a disbelief that life could be anything but dreadful.  Rewiring the brain takes time, it is an ever evolving process of changing ones thoughts, patterns and behaviors.  This is an area I have been working on and studying for over the last 11 years.

After writing what felt like a silly letter to my inner voice in my last blog and claiming the truth that as I think I become I made a decision.  I decided that on top of making peace with my inner voice I would name her and train her to be my greatest cheerleader.  Funny how that silly feeling actually freed me up. 


In  freedom I decided to allow myself to be vulnerable and share with my husband.  I had shared with him my last blog post, so he knew where I was going before I even had to set the stage. I asked him “Do you want to know what I named my inner voice?” He cocked his head sideways as if to say, “Should I be worried?”  I looked at him and chuckled and said, “we all have a thought life, I just happened to give mine a name.”  I could not believe it when he responded with the name I had given her. There are days he looks at me with that cocked head and listens with patients.  Sometimes I think he does not hear a word but today he proved me wrong.  


I shared with him that finding a name was not as hard as I thought.  The moment I silenced the inner voice and sat still it came to me like a gift from my past.  I named her “Amy”, short for Amazing Grace.  Also, Amy was the name of all my dolls when I was a little girl.  I had Amy#1, Amy#2, Amy#3, I loved that name so much that even today when I meet an Amy I tell her the story of my dolls. 


After naming her I wrote a welcome home letter to her.  It felt a little like I was losing my mind but in reality it was more like finding my voice.  I wrote about how I wanted to listen to what she has to say, how I want my heart to feel like a home instead of a place to hide. 


I believe we are all created to listen to that inner voice given to us by God as a gift.  Today when I think about my gift I hear “Amazing Grace How Sweet the Sound” ever so softly playing in the background of my brain instead of all the rambling and the noise that had taken up residence for most of my life. 

 I have come to realize through naming my thought life  that I want my life to represent a story of a woman who found her voice and used it well.  Where the brain fires it wires.  I have been set free. This is what amazes me about God! 

Thank you for letting me share.


“As A Woman Thinks She Becomes”


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