A Peak Into My Past...

I am blessed with the gift of loving to write.  Years of journal entries I am now willing to pull out and pour over with my eyes and heart.  Here is one from three years ago.  It is hard to believe my middle girl has spread her wings and flown from the nest. 


Journal entry June 2011

Dream Big!

Inside all of us is the capacity to dream big.  I believe we were created to dream big, it is in our genes.  All I  have to do is look around to see what kind of imagination God has.  From trees to flowers, people to animals even spiders, that takes big imagination.  To think of all the billions of people who have ever walked this earth and I am an original a one of a kind there is no other person like me anywhere that is pretty spectacular.

So what are some of my big, spectacular, amazing God size dreams?  Well I dream of one day letting go of my children and watching them grow into faith filled, fearless adults of faith who have a heart for truth.  I know for this dream to come true I have to be willing to set the example before them. 


As hard as it is, truth is caught more than it is taught.   They are at that age where they are watching us very carefully to make sure we say what we mean and we mean what we say.  Looking for any loopholes to catch us in and ready to question our actions.
Just the other day I was asked who the most influential person in my life is.  Reflecting on my circle of influence I came to this answer, by far without a doubt it would be my 15 year old daughter.  I watch how she mimicked me, the way she talks, walks, dresses and believes are a mirror reflection of her mama.  I watch the look in her eyes when I lack integrity in my words and actions and I realize what a confusing message that sends her even if she can’t articulate how she feels at the time.
I take my role in her life very seriously because I know she is a gift from God to be trusted with, not a possession to be owned.  I know one day I will be letting her go, not with my heart but with my hands.  I want her to look back on her years at home with memories not of perfection but perseverance. 
When she looks back on her time in the home I want her to remember how we as a family persevered through some very difficult times but by the grace of God we grew stronger as individuals as well as a family.  I want her to be able to look back and remember that our faith was a central theme inside and outside our home.
Grateful for the gift of writing,
Cris D. Nole

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