Greetings from the Front Porch!
Part 4
Faith, family, friends and today is finances. You may ask what do finances have to do with the front porch? At first glance, I would have to say, nothing. However, as I sat and pondered about the porch and my pocket book I am moved by the thought of how rich I really am, not necessarily financially but relationally.
There was a time not so very long ago that the term finances made me think of how much change I had in my wallet, how much cash I needed to pay my bills and how much money I wanted so that I could feel safe and secure.
The term finances was a word that had once painted an immediate picture in my head of money, assets and worth or lack of, since I never felt like I had enough.
When I sat down today to write about finances and the front porch, I thought I was going to share how the philosophy of the front porch helped us get out of debt as a family and how we learned to make the most of what we had by living in the moment and trusting God with our future.
However, the more I sat in front of my computer and thought about finances and the front porch my mind did not paint the same picture that it had some time ago. I paused in the writing process and started to reflect on what my mind was now painting as I thought of the word finance.
My mind went back in time, a beautiful picture of friendship formed on the front porch was painted, and a colorful image started to form of the bushes being removed and the cement being poured not so long ago. A portrait of the front porch was created as a meeting place instead of a mask and the term finances took on a completely new meaning.
I decided to look up some definitions of finances and was surprised to see how some of the definitions I had found matched the picture in my head, creating an imaginary paint by numbers canvas, ready to fill in with new meanings to the same word.
Finances can mean one of several things such as money, funds, assets, capital, investments and resources, just to name a few. My favorite of all these definitions would be resources; it is the brightest of the color pallet that filled my imagination as it popped off the pages and into my mind. Resources gave the word finances a completely new outfit as I continued to ponder over how the front porch and finances have connected.
Resource defined at its best means somebody or something that is a source of help or information. That word somebody formed images of people sitting on my front porch after the bushes had been removed, when the porch became a meeting place instead of a mask. Resources was a result of intentional relationships, not something I set out to obtain but rather a positive natural consequence of choosing to be in open authentic friendships.
Today when people gather around the front porch, sharing their needs, desires and dreams inevitably we are able to connect with one another to help resource those needs, desires and dreams, even if it means just listening well. The front porch has become a place where a community of people come together to help one another, for a reason a season or a lifetime as we learn to make the most of our finances, using the resources we have to dream big dreams.
The front porch is a place where faith, family, friends and finances can collide together and create community, as we live in the moment and trust God with our future. Thank you God for redefining my finances and resourcing me through real relationships!
Cris
Friendship is the foundation of the front porch!
Greetings from the Front Porch!
Make new friends but keep the old; some are silver and the other gold! I will never forget the first time I heard that song, being young and foolish I thought it was rather corny, but as I sat down to share today about how the front porch fits into friendships, I could hear this little tune being hummed in my head.
My front porch for years use to be an invisible wall that kept people far enough at a distance from me to prevent any kind of deep friendships from ever being built. God forbid anyone from seeing the real me, funny how a front porch could be considered a mask, but it was. The front porch helped me hide behind bushes and chairs, sending a do not enter message to those even remotely thinking of coming close to my physical home as well as emotional place of residence.
However, thank God for those people in my circle who had pressed on with me, who had seen beyond the barriers and helped me step out of my comfort zone and into my community. Those old friends who believed in me when I did not believe in myself and those new friends who saw a diamond in the rough. I thank you all for your continued love and encouragement, your friendship is the foundation of the front porch.
Over the last several years, the front porch has transitioned into a place of sharing instead of hiding. The bushes were removed, the cement was extended and chairs were added, all to create, connect and be in community with those who had helped us become health, happy and free to be ourselves as a family.
As we enter into 2011, we as a family who walk by faith are committed to being intentional about our time with friends on the front porch. We celebrate you all, remembering that The Front Porch is not just a place but a philosophy of being in the moment, through listening well, asking good and pausing on purpose.
Cris
Make new friends but keep the old; some are silver and the other gold! I will never forget the first time I heard that song, being young and foolish I thought it was rather corny, but as I sat down to share today about how the front porch fits into friendships, I could hear this little tune being hummed in my head.
My front porch for years use to be an invisible wall that kept people far enough at a distance from me to prevent any kind of deep friendships from ever being built. God forbid anyone from seeing the real me, funny how a front porch could be considered a mask, but it was. The front porch helped me hide behind bushes and chairs, sending a do not enter message to those even remotely thinking of coming close to my physical home as well as emotional place of residence.
However, thank God for those people in my circle who had pressed on with me, who had seen beyond the barriers and helped me step out of my comfort zone and into my community. Those old friends who believed in me when I did not believe in myself and those new friends who saw a diamond in the rough. I thank you all for your continued love and encouragement, your friendship is the foundation of the front porch.
Over the last several years, the front porch has transitioned into a place of sharing instead of hiding. The bushes were removed, the cement was extended and chairs were added, all to create, connect and be in community with those who had helped us become health, happy and free to be ourselves as a family.
As we enter into 2011, we as a family who walk by faith are committed to being intentional about our time with friends on the front porch. We celebrate you all, remembering that The Front Porch is not just a place but a philosophy of being in the moment, through listening well, asking good and pausing on purpose.
Cris
Greetings from the Front Porch!
Once again, I am speaking figuratively because today there was warning of ice forming on the sidewalk. Being outdoors was not an option for someone who lives for three digit days.
Therefore, today from the warmth of my sanctuary inside my home and from a philosophy of the front porch, I will share with you how this family uses the front porch to draw closer together, learning to use the simple moments in life to listen well, ask good and pause on purpose.
What does the Front Porch look like behind closed doors, when we cannot be outside, in our favorite chairs, drinking our favorite beverages, sharing story, greeting neighbors and listening well. It looks very much like it does on the outside but this season allows us more of an opportunity to intentionally connect as a family while we create greater community within our own home as well.
Since The Front Porch is not just a place but also a philosophy, we are able to take what we believe and apply inside our home as well. As a family we value the voice, we are passionate about the story and we believe in pausing on purpose while we intentionally listen all in order to create community.
We have learned to carve out times through out the day to practice sitting on the front porch or other wise know as being still with one another, pressing into the moment, slowing down long enough to listen well and ask good and connect with one another as husband, wife, father, mother, daughter, son, sister and brother.
Cris
Therefore, today from the warmth of my sanctuary inside my home and from a philosophy of the front porch, I will share with you how this family uses the front porch to draw closer together, learning to use the simple moments in life to listen well, ask good and pause on purpose.
What does the Front Porch look like behind closed doors, when we cannot be outside, in our favorite chairs, drinking our favorite beverages, sharing story, greeting neighbors and listening well. It looks very much like it does on the outside but this season allows us more of an opportunity to intentionally connect as a family while we create greater community within our own home as well.
Since The Front Porch is not just a place but also a philosophy, we are able to take what we believe and apply inside our home as well. As a family we value the voice, we are passionate about the story and we believe in pausing on purpose while we intentionally listen all in order to create community.
We have learned to carve out times through out the day to practice sitting on the front porch or other wise know as being still with one another, pressing into the moment, slowing down long enough to listen well and ask good and connect with one another as husband, wife, father, mother, daughter, son, sister and brother.
Cris
Greetings from the Front Porch!
OK, I am not actually out on the front porch but I have come to realize that The Front Porch is not just a place but also an attitude, a philosophy of community. The Front Porch has become a place where people can join in creating community, for a reason a season or a lifetime.
The Front Porch philosophy is about being in the moment and trusting God with the future. So, as I enter into this New Year, I am challenged once again to slow down, be the turtle and remember that we were created to be in community.
Cris Nole
“Living In the Moment”
I have spent the last several months just pressing into prayer and asking God to reveal to me my greatest passion in life. Those of you who know me well will not be surprised when I say that I love community. I love to connect people with one another for the greater purpose of serving together, growing together and living together.
I am passionate about being intentional in relationships about building safe community where people can listen well, ask good and pause on purpose all so we can connect.
The Front Porch also represents faith, the kind of faith that says, “There are no ifs among believers and anything can happen.” Mark 9:23 Jesus taught it to those searching for healing but I also believe that we can apply it to our dreams that are hidden deep with in our souls that are birthed out of being present with one another.
Cris Nole
“Living In the Moment”
7 Years!
One gold coin placed in my hand, the Roman numeral 7 with the word years were engraved on the front and my grace is enough for you was engraved on the back. I wrapped my fingers around the token and I said a silent prayer of thanksgiving to the one who paid the price to set me free.
Last night I received my recovery coin, seven years of walking through the process of recovering what was lost, stolen or given away, through my habits, hurts and hang-ups.
I remember sitting on the old worn out couch in what we called the living room of my recovery home, participating in my very first recovering meeting. I had one day clean and the thought of seven days with out popping a pill, piercing my skin or puking my meal seemed like an eternity.
I remember the first time we had to go around the room, state our name our drug of choice and our days being clean and sober. I was overwhelmed with guilt and shame wondering how I ever got to this place in my life.
Today I turn around and I get the honor and pleasure of looking back and seeing the amazing journey I have been alowed to travel on. I know I am a product of all those who have gone before me and for all those who have supported me.
I understand today that it was never about popping a pill, puking a meal or piercing my flesh but rather about breaking free from my past so that I could live in the present while trusting in a God who had a hope for my future.
It was not until recently that I realized how quiet my mind had become and how still my soul could be. I was out for a walk and decided to leave my music behind and there was such a powerful peace in the silence of my mind and the stillness of my spirit, it was in that moment that I was able to grasp the benefit of coming through complete brokenness and receiving profound and complete healing.
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.
Cris
Sometimes life just hurts!
The song the Christmas shoes were just ending on the car radio and I could not hold my tears back any longer. I pulled into a parking spot, gripped the steering wheel and felt the heartache of the realization that this would be the first Christmas without my mother the emotions broke through the cold morning air and childhood memories from Christmas past came rushing at me like a stampede of reindeer landing on the roof top of my soul, there was nothing I could do to stop them.
My heart hurts because it misses what use to be and what could have been. I cannot believe we are approaching the Christmas season and I just do not feel like celebrating. I am sad about being sad if that makes sense. I cannot seem to get excited about the holidays.
I know that this is normal for loss, the first of another event passing by without her here, birthdays, a wedding, thanksgiving and now Christmas. I also know that God is bigger then my grief and he created my tears as much as he created my laughter.
I spent the better part of my life holding back every tear that needed to fall whether they were tears of joy or tears of laughter. I grew up with a false belief system that my tears were a sign weakness but the older I get the more I come to believe and understand that my strength actually comes out of those moments of grief when I choose to embrace the tears of sadness and the loss.
I have learned as well through the grieving process that there is nothing that anyone can say or do to make me feel better and the honest to God truth is that when I am grieving I am not looking to feel better I am just making sure I don’t loose my voice in the pain so that when it passes I am still fully alive.
I share and I share and I share until I cannot share anymore. It takes a very special friend a very special person to walk through grief and to share in the shedding of the tears that are brought on by the loss of a loved one due to death, a move, a break up, loss is loss and the body, mind and spirit respond the same when something you once had is now gone.
The call came in and on the other end of the phone was that very special person who so many years ago reminded me that when grief came knocking and it would that she would be just a phone call away, now whenever I try to deny or dismiss the knock at the door I remember her words and I hear her voice.
As I sat in the parking lot shedding my tears I knew that the silence on the other side of the phone meant acceptance, I knew the words of encouragement to keep it real meant even though I was struggling in my weakness I was actually being strong and brave.
I am so thankful today for the circle of friends who share a common faith, who believe that God shows up best in our weaknesses and are willing to keep it real. Today I say thank you to Jenny who has been the voice in the middle of the void when I am hurt, lost, and down and out because, sometimes life just hurts!
Cris
My heart hurts because it misses what use to be and what could have been. I cannot believe we are approaching the Christmas season and I just do not feel like celebrating. I am sad about being sad if that makes sense. I cannot seem to get excited about the holidays.
I know that this is normal for loss, the first of another event passing by without her here, birthdays, a wedding, thanksgiving and now Christmas. I also know that God is bigger then my grief and he created my tears as much as he created my laughter.
I spent the better part of my life holding back every tear that needed to fall whether they were tears of joy or tears of laughter. I grew up with a false belief system that my tears were a sign weakness but the older I get the more I come to believe and understand that my strength actually comes out of those moments of grief when I choose to embrace the tears of sadness and the loss.
I have learned as well through the grieving process that there is nothing that anyone can say or do to make me feel better and the honest to God truth is that when I am grieving I am not looking to feel better I am just making sure I don’t loose my voice in the pain so that when it passes I am still fully alive.
I share and I share and I share until I cannot share anymore. It takes a very special friend a very special person to walk through grief and to share in the shedding of the tears that are brought on by the loss of a loved one due to death, a move, a break up, loss is loss and the body, mind and spirit respond the same when something you once had is now gone.
The call came in and on the other end of the phone was that very special person who so many years ago reminded me that when grief came knocking and it would that she would be just a phone call away, now whenever I try to deny or dismiss the knock at the door I remember her words and I hear her voice.
As I sat in the parking lot shedding my tears I knew that the silence on the other side of the phone meant acceptance, I knew the words of encouragement to keep it real meant even though I was struggling in my weakness I was actually being strong and brave.
I am so thankful today for the circle of friends who share a common faith, who believe that God shows up best in our weaknesses and are willing to keep it real. Today I say thank you to Jenny who has been the voice in the middle of the void when I am hurt, lost, and down and out because, sometimes life just hurts!
Cris
More Than A Habit!
“How do you know when your habit has become an addiction?” Yes, I was talking to myself once again. A question I presented to myself in the most delicate manner as I was driving home from physical therapy session.
“Should I still be lifting weights?” This question was asked by me but not to me this time but rather to my therapist just before my session ended.
I asked this because of the severe muscle cramps and joint pain I had which are caused by the flairs ups do to my fibromyalgia, which usually gets worse during the winter months. Of course, I knew the answer but had to hear it from a professional.
I mean come on, if it hurts to lift groceries in and out my car, if it hurts to lift a blanket off my body, why would I think lifting any kind of weights would be any better?
His professional opinion was yes and he started to remind me of the definition for insanity, I put my hand up in front of his face as if to say, “stop, I know”, nothing like being confronted with the obvious. I almost rolled my eyes at the dear man, who is old enough to be my father and kind enough to be my grandfather but out of respect, I just nodded and agreed.
He was right; I had been doing the same thing repeatedly in hopes of strengthening my muscles. I had come to enjoy the endorphins that kicked in when I lifted and the results I had experienced from the workout but muscle strength I had not received, just the opposite had happened, my muscles had become week.
I thanked him for the session as well as the confirmation of what I had already known, scheduled my next appointment and headed for my car. Honestly, I was in a little fog as I got in my car to head home.
The familiar feeling of not wanting to give up a habit that was now bad for me brought me right back to my early years in recovery. “How could this be the same, this is exercise?”
The reality of it is this; there are those habits that are good for me and then those that are bad me. I know smoking is a bad habit, never a good choice. But then there are those habits that start out good and can turn into something bad, drug use for pain, food intake for pleasure, relationships, I could place anything in there and call it a habit and if I do it long enough it could become an addiction.
How did I know my habit of lifting weights had become an addiction? Simple, even though I had known it was causing me pain, harm and discomfort, I still could not imagine not doing it and even though I knew I should have stopped, I had to hear it from a professional and I still struggled with the answer.
After my realization in the car, I knew I had to quickly call my husband, not for sympathy mind you but rather for accountability, because I am queen of doing what I know I should not be doing especially if it looks and feels good. But ultimately what would happen is that my muscles would flair up and I would become completely useless to myself and others, it’s one thing if it just happens and another when I intentionally do something to harm myself.
It is crazy to think that in my flesh I would continue to do something just so I could reap the benefits of looking fit and feeling fine in the moment while paying the ultimate price of pain later on.
Therefore, how do I know when my habit has turned into an addiction? Well, here is the Webster’s definition of addiction. Addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
I think I am safe to say that my habit had become an addiction; psychologically I could not imagine myself without it and severe trauma it had caused.
“Should I still be lifting weights?” This question was asked by me but not to me this time but rather to my therapist just before my session ended.
I asked this because of the severe muscle cramps and joint pain I had which are caused by the flairs ups do to my fibromyalgia, which usually gets worse during the winter months. Of course, I knew the answer but had to hear it from a professional.
I mean come on, if it hurts to lift groceries in and out my car, if it hurts to lift a blanket off my body, why would I think lifting any kind of weights would be any better?
His professional opinion was yes and he started to remind me of the definition for insanity, I put my hand up in front of his face as if to say, “stop, I know”, nothing like being confronted with the obvious. I almost rolled my eyes at the dear man, who is old enough to be my father and kind enough to be my grandfather but out of respect, I just nodded and agreed.
He was right; I had been doing the same thing repeatedly in hopes of strengthening my muscles. I had come to enjoy the endorphins that kicked in when I lifted and the results I had experienced from the workout but muscle strength I had not received, just the opposite had happened, my muscles had become week.
I thanked him for the session as well as the confirmation of what I had already known, scheduled my next appointment and headed for my car. Honestly, I was in a little fog as I got in my car to head home.
The familiar feeling of not wanting to give up a habit that was now bad for me brought me right back to my early years in recovery. “How could this be the same, this is exercise?”
The reality of it is this; there are those habits that are good for me and then those that are bad me. I know smoking is a bad habit, never a good choice. But then there are those habits that start out good and can turn into something bad, drug use for pain, food intake for pleasure, relationships, I could place anything in there and call it a habit and if I do it long enough it could become an addiction.
How did I know my habit of lifting weights had become an addiction? Simple, even though I had known it was causing me pain, harm and discomfort, I still could not imagine not doing it and even though I knew I should have stopped, I had to hear it from a professional and I still struggled with the answer.
After my realization in the car, I knew I had to quickly call my husband, not for sympathy mind you but rather for accountability, because I am queen of doing what I know I should not be doing especially if it looks and feels good. But ultimately what would happen is that my muscles would flair up and I would become completely useless to myself and others, it’s one thing if it just happens and another when I intentionally do something to harm myself.
It is crazy to think that in my flesh I would continue to do something just so I could reap the benefits of looking fit and feeling fine in the moment while paying the ultimate price of pain later on.
Therefore, how do I know when my habit has turned into an addiction? Well, here is the Webster’s definition of addiction. Addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
I think I am safe to say that my habit had become an addiction; psychologically I could not imagine myself without it and severe trauma it had caused.
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