Who Are You?

For all of you who know who you are, thank you for being a real friend to me.


Simple v Real Friendships

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn't have to.
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"
A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Some Where Over The Rainbow!!

Who would have thought that on the other side of the rainbow I would find fellow journey women who were seeking the very same thing? A push in the right direction, someone to catch them as they jumped into the unknown. P31 became the physical hands of Christ as women leaped in complete fear, doubt and trembling towards their calling.

I have just returned from the Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference held in North Carolina and it was truly an amazing experience. I went with my ministers eyes rather then my speakers, writers or leaders eyes. I prayed that the Lord would allow me to reach out to others and to wear him well as woman from all over the country and beyond came to a place where relationships shined first and ministry followed second.

I also prayed that I could give back to a ministry that has given me so much. A voice, direction and a love for my Christian Sisters that had been lacking for most of my early years in ministry.

Somewhere over the rainbow disguised as a pot of gold where the hands of Jesus formed by many women who have a passion to lead others in there calling. She Speaks allowed women to jump bolding into their calling, to face their fears and do it anyway. It wasn't and isn't a conference about woman learning to speak or write or lead but rather a conference about the three flowing from a relationship with their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I have watched the women in this ministry grow up in a mighty way over the last four years and it has been an incredible journey to stand back and watch my sisters break out of their cocoons and spread their wings and fly.

They each wear Jesus well as they focus on His face while looking at the face of others. The messages were rich, the time well spent and the relationships were formed through faith and obedience of these women who have walked out in their calling, willing to share with others who have been called to do the same.

The Truth About Pain!!!!

Kyle Anthony Vito Perez-Nole
June 10, 1997

As I reflect back on the day my son was born, 11 years ago yesterday, I can't help but thank God for the life lesson that I received out of it today. Isn't God good? Lessons that come to us years after the teaching. Vito, my son, came into this world two months early and had to have a chest tube because of a collapsed lung , as well as a ventilator to help him breath. Anytime they had to change it I would have to leave the room, the pain was so great on his little body that he would scream so loud that it would break my heart. Everything in me yelled "take him away"!


How could I explain to him at that time that the very thing that was causing him so much pain was also the very thing that was keeping him alive?


Then I thought about the body of Christ and remembered what it was like as a new believer. Many times I wanted to run from the very people God had called me to walk through life with. When I was young in the faith I did not understand the need for relationships, and functioned in them out of duty rather then devotion. The truth was, those relationships, how ever difficult and painful they were and are, are still the very breath I need to keep me alive. Relationships to the Christian is not optional, just like the breathing tube wasn't for my son. If I would have grabbed him and ran, he would have died.


Many times I have wanted to run hard and fast because of the pain the comes from living life together, instead of confronting and communicating. I wanted to hide and deny the hardness of relationships, I wanted the pain to be gone at whatever cost but for that to happen my breath of life would have been taken away. The reality is this, Satan does not want me to be in relationships because it is there where I can best glorify my creator, especially during the hard times.


Today my prayer is not for God to remove the pain but rather for guidance and direction to deal with it instead. I will not always know if the pain I am enduring in the moment is the very pain that is keeping me alive, so I am not going to take a chance and try to remove it myself but rather trust my God and His promises so that one day when I get to look back on these moments I will be able to say.



"The very thing that was causing me so much pain was also the very thing that was keeping me a live!"

Kyle Anthony Vito Perez- Nole

2008

11 Years Old

Legacy!!!!!

My Legacy
(Something handed down.)

( An assignment my dear friend Rene gave during a retreat and this is what I came up with, thank you friend for the push.)

What I would like to leave behind in the moment and in the future and what I want people to think about when then think of me.

Living in the moment, loving deeply, forgiving quickly and laughing often. Wearing Jesus well, acting out of faith and loving people out loud. Being a friend, finding a friend. Sharing what I see and seeing what I share. Never giving up or giving in. Entering into others pain as well as sharing mine. Loving the unlovable, reaching out to the forgotten and finding the suffering. Being available, being intestinal and making myself present for the people around me. Praying more, listening often, speaking less. Being a director and not a fixer. Accepting, encouraging an including others. Running my race and cheering others on in theirs. Taking a breath, pausing for a moment, slowing down, reflecting on His love. Being about His business, minding my own. Being accountable, being authentic, and being me. Celebrating out loud, crying, singing and dancing everyday. Holding, hugging and kissing those I love. Saying I love you often, finding the good in everyone. Never being to busy to give an ear a shoulder or a hand. Living from thanksgiving and walking by faith.



Running my race allows me to leave a legacy……

A new set of eyes!!!!!

I am completely ruined and forever changed. As I was sitting here today writing about my whole experience behind the bars, I found myself needing a break, this is too much to fast and all consuming. This new set of eyes to see the things I hadn't seen before has really shaken my comfortable existence.

I decided to take a walk and as I came to the corner I usually come to I saw a woman holding a sign that said "homeless, God Bless, hungry", I felt the Lord tug on my heart to go pray with her but with an attitude of being bothered I responded in my heart with "Lord this is why I got up to take a walk, to get away from this".

But I followed the tug and walked up to her and asked if I could pray for her, she said no she needed to work so she could get food to eat and that she had just gotten out of prison a couple months ago (of course) and I proceeded to share with her how I just came back from prison myself. This opened up for a great conversation where she shared for twenty min. I just listened. I told her that I walked this way daily and that maybe the next time I was out I could take her to lunch. She looked me in the eyes and called me beautiful!!! Can you believe it…..? She called me beautiful, it was like the Lord speaking straight through this strangers mouth.

All of a sudden I felt like not only was I hearing the voice of God but I was also in the very presence of my Lord and savior. This woman had know idea the significance of her words and how much it meant to me that she would share her pain and hurt so quickly. As she poured out of her brokenness I realized how much I needed her more then she needed me. I fell in love with her like I did the women I had just met days before, the beautiful woman behind bars. I stood there with her for sometime watching people just drive by, no eye contact, no acknowledgment of her presence. I found myself feeling guilty for the many times I had done the same thing.

As I was getting ready to leave a man walked up to us who happened to be her fiancee of 17 years. She introduced me to him as her new friend and as I walked away from Buddy and Becky all I could do was think great “now I don’t see prisoners or homeless people". I also thought who is sicker, those holding the signs who know they are down and out or those passing by ignoring those who are out there?

Treasure, Treasure, - Everywhere!!!

My eyes began to flood with tears as I stepped onto the prison grounds. I’ve heard of standing on Holy Ground before, but this was the first time that I literally felt it press against the souls of my feet. I could feel the very power and presence of the Spirit of the Living God behind these walls. It seems strange to find Him in the last place where most people would choose to go. But it’s not strange at all.

As I entered the camp, signs of imprisonment were everywhere – the bars on windows, the chained fences, and guards. These were sure signs that I had entered the other side of the prison system. For three days I walked throughout this facility. I met many inmates while I was there, but I did not see a single prisoner.

I saw beautiful women. Precious sisters. Fellow travelers. Broken people. Victorious saints. Hurting children of God. Best friends. I saw people who are the same as you and me. But I saw no prisoners. With the eyes of Jesus I saw only these precious treasures of God. Beautiful, beautiful treasures.

We were greeted with cheers, tears, and hugs as we entered the faith-based dorm. These women are part of a program based on the Bible. Our meeting with them felt like a family reunion. I recognized the resemblance in our brokenness and I knew that we shared the same blood line. We even looked alike in many ways. The overwhelming presence of God allowed the tears to flow as holy women praised God in their weakness. Their dancing and singing for the Lord proved that no chains on earth were holding these women back. I immediately fell in love with them and we became like best friends during our visit.

It became clear to me how forgotten these treasures are. They hunger for outside contact. Just our presence told them that they were valued. At one point the staff gave our team these tall chairs to sit on – I called them Pope Chairs because they really stood above the common people. It wasn’t long before we abandoned those high and mighty thrones so we could sit among our sisters. It is here in this church-behind-walls where the dividing line between “us and them” is erased. I experienced a simple honesty and brokenness and oneness like I have often yearned for in many churches I’ve attended. We had no pretenses to hold up – no masks to wear. We came together as lost and blind children who had been gloriously rescued by our Heavenly Father, and nothing binds hearts together stronger than that. My prayer is that more “free” Christians who are imprisoned by Satan’s deception will experience this kind of a tremendously liberating experience – perhaps even by going to prison!

Our yard experience was breathtaking. Many precious women were blessed. Some women feared getting out of prison, but no wonder. I remember how I wanted to stay in treatment. The fear of going back to my self-defeating life felt like a prison sentence in itself. The fear of rejection from a world requiring perfection was enormous. The fear of failing and falling short of society’s standards was overwhelming. So my heart broke for these precious women, because I vividly remember being taken from my home because of my actions. I recognized their pain because it had been my own pain. I heard those same hellish lies that screamed, “You are worthless. You are what you did! You are forever condemned.” It was such a joy to see many women set free. Many women came to realize that the very bars they once cursed were actually protecting them and drawing them nearer to their Maker. We saw women receiving a spiritual pardon from Jesus, which is much better than a pardon from the state.

The Word says, “You must lose your life to gain it.” So many of the daughters we visited in prison had gained abundant life by losing their lives in brokenness and humility. This is also my prayer for “free” Christians on the outside – for believers who are going through the religious motions of church, while not experiencing the exhilarating freedom of losing their lives sacrificially for Jesus. I know what that’s like because I wore those hypocritical religious chains for too long. I know of no better way to gain freedom than to lose your life by serving “the least of these” priceless treasures. I am forever changed and beautifully ruined by my visit to Vandalia.

Hemorrhoidectomy ( I think it's a word)

I asked my dear friend, the owner of the brush, to write from her perspective of the whole toilet, paint brush incident. Of course, I wanted you all who were reading to capture the moment, so I decided to recreate the day. So, even though this isn't the original picture, it is very close to what my dear friend saw when she entered my rest room to relieve herself of her coffee habit....... Friends from P31, notice the beautiful pink book. So, enjoy part two of lesson of the day.

Part 2 Lesson of the day!!!

I always enjoy sitting with my friend on her front porch. This particular morning I had one too many cups of coffee and needed to use her bathroom. Rushing in so I could get back to our in-depth conversation on the pro's and con's of owning an ice cream truck, I was immediately grateful that I looked before I sat because there, in the toilet, was my paint brush, extra long handle, sticking straight up from the toilet. My mind went where is shouldn't but I quickly composed myself and pulled the brush from the bowl, placing it ever so cautiously into the sink. Knowing my friend I just sat on the pot and did my duty, not bothering to flush the discolored paint filled water because, quite honestly, the designer in me was curiously what color it would make when I was done. As I sat there contemplating life, my mind, once again wandered where is shouldn't and I began to come up with all kinds of reasons why she put MY favorite paint brush in her toilet. Was she getting back at me for all the innocent sarcasm that had gone between us for the last year? Surely our friendship was stronger than that. I knew she would begin to wonder why I was taking so long so I finished, flushed, and washed, knowing I would never be able to look at that paint brush the same way again, or even my friend for that matter. My hysterical laughter broke into her deep meditation as I opened the door. I told her what I had found and the look on her face was worth the humiliation of almost receiving a hemorrhoidectomy. She gave me some lame excuse about how I had taught her to soak her paint brushes and the beauty of the toilet was that all she had to do was soak and flush. Easy cleanup. I KNOW I NEVER taught her that. Anyway, I was glad to hear that she wasn't mad at me for any reason and our friendship is still solid as a porcelain toilet bowel.

Written by: Christine Joy

Monday, May 12, 2008 (Part 1 for those of you who missed this blog)

Lesson of the day!!!!!

Note to self, don't leave paint brush in toilet when company is coming over. Especially if the company is also the owner of the paint brush. No joke, I did just that and I got totally busted, caught red handed. My good friend, running buddy and fellow book end came by today to join me on the front porch but before she sat down she asked if she could use my bathroom, of course she could, why would there be a reason not to let her?
Reason, I had been painting earlier that day and had everything cleaned up and put away except for one little item, the brush, not just any brush but my friend who was now getting ready to sit on the pot's brush. I could blame her for this, she is the one who taught me to just leave the brush in water until I had time to rinse it out. OK, she used a bucket, I chose the toilet, it was flushed, clean water and it wasn't like anyone was going to eat off the thing.
Needless to say, when she came back out side to join me on my front porch, I was just a tad embarrassed by her question. She wanted to know why there was a paint brush in the toilet, I proceeded to remind her of the lesson she had taught me last summer while painting my daughters room and then informed her that it was her paint brush I was giving a little bath to.
Now, this friend of mine has truly been given the gift of laughter and humor, which made the situation even better. I can't even imagine if someone I hadn't known stopped by and they do and tried to use my john, what would they have thought? I actually thought it was a pretty sticking bright idea if I do say so myself. Though, I think I will buy my friend a new paint brush instead of returning the old one. What can I say, thank God for good friends......